Car Care Comedian Pillows

Man scraping the snow off his car greets neighbour who is scrapping off advertisements.

Tom got himself retreaded at the same time as his wheels

'Are we nearly there yet?'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

"Okay. Hit it."

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

No U-turns

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

Clown Airbags.

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Parking? I don't think so.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.

'I'm so embarrassed driving such a filthy vehicle...'

Left Lane Must Turn Right, Right Lane Must Turn Left, Nice Try!

'It should be changed every 3000 miles? Better change it three times, then.'