Car Care Comedian Pillows

Man scraping the snow off his car greets neighbour who is scrapping off advertisements.

Tom got himself retreaded at the same time as his wheels

'Are we nearly there yet?'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"Okay. Hit it."

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

No U-turns

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

Clown Airbags.

'Professional ice hockey is banning hits to the head...players may now back into each other when leaving the NHL parking lot.'

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

Parking? I don't think so.

Left Lane Must Turn Right, Right Lane Must Turn Left, Nice Try!

It's just until I stop chasing cars.

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'

'I'm so embarrassed driving such a filthy vehicle...'