Car Care Comedians Pillows

'This is so real. When I got back to my car, it was dented on both sides.'

We've got to do something about this terrible drought - I want you to all go home and wash your cars.

'Are we nearly there yet?'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

"Okay. Hit it."

A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

No U-turns

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

Clown Airbags.

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.

Parking? I don't think so.

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'

'Don't get involved.'

'I'm so embarrassed driving such a filthy vehicle...'

'Oh, no -- not again!'

Left Lane Must Turn Right, Right Lane Must Turn Left, Nice Try!

'It should be changed every 3000 miles? Better change it three times, then.'

"Your German spark plugs won't work in your mini cooper because of Brexit."

"It's a loaner while mine's in the shop."

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

Man scraping the snow off his car greets neighbour who is scrapping off advertisements.

My other dog is a golden retriever

Let Go and Let God

'Turning Left' lights on front of car.

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.