Comical Care Pillows

Jelly I.V.

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

"Bingo! Found it!"

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

Golf cart in the hospital.

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

"The 'intervention' got out of hand."

IV Bags: Main and Afters

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

"If it wasn't for my Hippocratic oath, you'd be dead by now."

"Ok, here's another one about antibiotics. . ."

"Now where was I?"

"I'd like to request a transfer from the children's ward."

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

Rattle Snake in Love with Baby

A nurse Reports A Patient's Condition To The Doctor.

"My dad works in surveillance."

...The decimal point was in the wrong place.

"Wouldn't a teething ring be better than a house-brick?"

'Weaning is a bit like a divorce, but mum always gets custody of me.'

"Oops – I think that was a tan line."

'I had that for lunch!'

'I was stuck in traffic for two hours on the way here, so I have my urine sample ready.'

'Have you tried enjoying the aches and pains?'

'Relax. Mr. Miller. It's just a standard prostate exam.'

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

'With a few years of physical therapy, I think there's a good possibility that you could get a job as a paperweight!'

"My diagnosis is you have an arrow through your head, but to be safe, I'll order a series of tests."

'It should be changed every 3000 miles? Better change it three times, then.'

"Oh, and remember to roll up the rug the other way when you're done so it'll lie flat again."