Eye Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Nobody likes a detached retina.

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

'The Buck Stops Here.'

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

Penguin

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

Crime in bookshop

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

Rogue elephant

The Frankenstein snowman.

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

Men Working Things Out

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'Remember, repeated failure... is no guarantee of eventual success!'

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.