Ocular Humorist Gifts

Olive that looks suspiciously like an eye!

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Large print e-book.

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

Cyclopetrist's Waiting room

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

I think I need new glasses. I swear I just saw a tiny man jump off your bridge.

Cover story: Plant World.

'Be fair, George - how do you expect me to find your contact lens in this lot?'

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

"All our flow charts are backing up!"

Ancient Egyptian eye tests.

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

"Wow yes, it's a lovely garden, but I can only see flowers: not a carrot in sight..."

"You're the only one in this department who has survived the staff cuts. I can only advise you to do your job well, otherwise I'll have to fire you too, got that?"

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

Visual gag (the real Mona Lisa behind the scenes).

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

Bolting your Food.

"I think an IQ test would be more appropriate at this time."

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"