Ocular Humorist Gifts

Olive that looks suspiciously like an eye!

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Large print e-book.

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

Cyclopetrist's Waiting room

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

Cover story: Plant World.

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

'Be fair, George - how do you expect me to find your contact lens in this lot?'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

"All our flow charts are backing up!"

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

Ancient Egyptian eye tests.

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

"Wow yes, it's a lovely garden, but I can only see flowers: not a carrot in sight..."

"You're the only one in this department who has survived the staff cuts. I can only advise you to do your job well, otherwise I'll have to fire you too, got that?"

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

Visual gag (the real Mona Lisa behind the scenes).

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

Bolting your Food.

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

"I think an IQ test would be more appropriate at this time."

'It quickly became apparent that Optometry was not the right career choice for Errol'. 'Is that the right one? I can't tell!'