Optic Humorist Gifts

Scientists Eyes Test

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Large print e-book.

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

Cyclopetrist's Waiting room

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

'Be fair, George - how do you expect me to find your contact lens in this lot?'

I think I need new glasses. I swear I just saw a tiny man jump off your bridge.

Cover story: Plant World.

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

'There is not a thing that medical science can do for you. Have you tried 'wishful thinking'?'

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

Moon's Portaloo.

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"I don't know, Jed. Sometimes I think people don't realize the health benefits of free-range pinatas!"

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"Wow yes, it's a lovely garden, but I can only see flowers: not a carrot in sight..."

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

Visual gag (the real Mona Lisa behind the scenes).

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.