Optical Humorist Gifts

Cyclopetrist's Waiting room

'So do you mate, I'm selling ice creams.'

'We have to go to the clinic at two thirty with his eyes, because they close at three.'

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

Spider glasses.

'When you said this was an eye examination for Macular Degeneration, I didn't think you meant an actual exam!'

"So how to you know I'm an optician?"

"You see spots in front of you? Have you cleaned your glasses lately?"

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Large print e-book.

'It's Blurred.'

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

I think I need new glasses. I swear I just saw a tiny man jump off your bridge.

'Be fair, George - how do you expect me to find your contact lens in this lot?'

"All our flow charts are backing up!"

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

Ancient Egyptian eye tests.

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.

Visual gag (the real Mona Lisa behind the scenes).

"You're the only one in this department who has survived the staff cuts. I can only advise you to do your job well, otherwise I'll have to fire you too, got that?"

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

Cat Eye-Exam

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'