Optometry Humorist Gifts

'Guess who wants a giant-sized monocle?'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

Cyclopetrist's Waiting room

'Be fair, George - how do you expect me to find your contact lens in this lot?'

Pacemakers.

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Macula'.

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

'It quickly became apparent that Optometry was not the right career choice for Errol'. 'Is that the right one? I can't tell!'

Jugular Vein

Magnifying glass on Oculist's sign.

Cyclops reading an eye chart

'How do these glasses feel?'

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

"Well Mr. Bisley, your test results are off the scale. . !"

Tree Relief

'Excuse me while I rub the smoke out of my glass eye.'

"He took an Alka-Seltzer and now he thinks he’s sparkling."

"You see spots in front of you? Have you cleaned your glasses lately?"

'I am afraid Mr Cyclops, they only come in pairs.'

"Your medicine's in the bag and the side effects are on the CD-ROM

Olive that looks suspiciously like an eye!

'Ugh, a contact lens. I wish he'd had corrective surgery because I hate artificial ingredients.'

Ned Buntz, U.S. Marshall and Frontier Optometrist

Man uses his eye-doctor's chart for a word-search.

'So do you mate, I'm selling ice creams.'

Spider glasses.

'When you said this was an eye examination for Macular Degeneration, I didn't think you meant an actual exam!'

"So how to you know I'm an optician?"

I wasn't counting on you having been to the opticians!

Analphabet

"Ahh... the royal physician who diagnosed the king with a 'common' cold."

"Be just a minute, folks. We got a hole between the atria and both ventricles. . ."