Optometry Humorist Pillows

'Guess who wants a giant-sized monocle?'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

Cyclopetrist's Waiting room

'Be fair, George - how do you expect me to find your contact lens in this lot?'

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Macula'.

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

'It quickly became apparent that Optometry was not the right career choice for Errol'. 'Is that the right one? I can't tell!'

Jugular Vein

'How do these glasses feel?'

Cyclops reading an eye chart

Magnifying glass on Oculist's sign.

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

"Well Mr. Bisley, your test results are off the scale. . !"

'I am afraid Mr Cyclops, they only come in pairs.'

"He took an Alka-Seltzer and now he thinks he’s sparkling."

'Excuse me while I rub the smoke out of my glass eye.'

"You see spots in front of you? Have you cleaned your glasses lately?"

"Your medicine's in the bag and the side effects are on the CD-ROM

Olive that looks suspiciously like an eye!

'Ugh, a contact lens. I wish he'd had corrective surgery because I hate artificial ingredients.'

Man uses his eye-doctor's chart for a word-search.

'So do you mate, I'm selling ice creams.'

Ned Buntz, U.S. Marshall and Frontier Optometrist

"Ahh... the royal physician who diagnosed the king with a 'common' cold."

I wasn't counting on you having been to the opticians!

Analphabet

"Be just a minute, folks. We got a hole between the atria and both ventricles. . ."

"So how to you know I'm an optician?"

'When you said this was an eye examination for Macular Degeneration, I didn't think you meant an actual exam!'

Spider glasses.

'That's the worst case of eye strain I have ever seen'