Eyeglass Humorist Gifts

How long have I been wearing these? Ever since the day I tried to date that submarine.

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Large print e-book.

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

Cyclopetrist's Waiting room

I think I need new glasses. I swear I just saw a tiny man jump off your bridge.

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'I hate to break it to you, but moons don't grow up to be planets OR stars.'

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Come quick, Mrs. Dumpty! Your son fell off the wall!'

"I think an IQ test would be more appropriate at this time."

'So much for his new glasses...he didn't see that coming'

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

'You really do need new glasses!'

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

Smartphone reads eye chart

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

John's Laser Shop and Eye Patches 4 U Shops

'Thirteen'

Postman frying a parcel marked 'handle like eggs'.

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

"Well Mr. Bisley, your test results are off the scale. . !"

Boxer with glasses.

Sports Optometrist and Cyclops.

"Hey - long time no see. . . !"