Eye Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Nobody likes a detached retina.

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'The Buck Stops Here.'

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

Penguin

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

Jars containing a Brain and a Brain Fart.

The Frankenstein snowman.

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

Rogue elephant

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

Crime in bookshop

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

Men Working Things Out

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Wow! Check out the moon."

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

Tasty.

'Remember, repeated failure... is no guarantee of eventual success!'