Extraterrestrial Observer Gifts

"Move along please. There's nothing to see here!"

"No aliens"

“There’s a lot of neural activity focussed on whether or not her shirt will ride up and expose her tummy, which she feels self-conscious about.”

'No, we're not capturing you for a bizarre sexual experiment. We thought you might like to come to our coffee morning.'

'That's something you don't see every day - a hitch-hiker.'

"...and if you see anything that 'Isn't Right' on the platform please contact the station staff..."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

"Wow! You do have a triple A membership!"

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

Elevator Music

"A glimpse into a cartoon character's dressing room..."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos - Ancient Aliens

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'