Extinction Theorist Gifts

'We may have discovered a new dinosaur extinction theory.'

Stoning

"Well, the way I've heard it, our species once dies out - then humans came along, destroyed the planet - then evolution started all over again and here we are. . ."

Could the extinction of the dinosaurs have been due to a virus?"

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

65 Million Years Ago

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"Where do you think we are in the food chain right now?"

"I'm sending you an interesting article about declining birth rates."

'I'd hire you, but the word is going around you guys are practically extinct!'

"I've been genetically modified!"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

'Good grief! Aren't you guys extinct yet?'

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

'Just as I suspected, Simpson. The extinction process happened very suddenly.'

The end is near.

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

"Frankly, I don't like the way things are going."

'This isn't either a fad! -- It's a major breakthrough!'

'Any history of extinction in your family?'

Bio-obsolescence

"In the late Cretaceous" "What do you mean, you're here for all of us at once?"

'Oh, come on -- everything can't be extinct!'

"I had a dream about a huge flaming rock falling from the sky! What do you think it means?"

'We are the last Dodos on the planet, so I've put all of our eggs safely into this basket...'

'It looks like our time is up.'

The Last Mosquito

"Just you wait!"

The sudden extinction of prehistoric clowns explained.

'Of course, in the long term we'll all be extinct.'