World-ending Theorist Gifts

'Well, he certainly lived every day as if it was his last...'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

The end is near.

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"The season finale of the world is near."

Doomsday marketing

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

Poll: The World Will End With: Nuclear War, Global Warming, Assault Weapons.

'It looks like our time is up.'

"Well, the way I've heard it, our species once dies out - then humans came along, destroyed the planet - then evolution started all over again and here we are. . ."

"Yjere didn't seem any point in making any supper..."

Could the extinction of the dinosaurs have been due to a virus?"

'This isn't a BREAKTHROUGH, Colbert! This is a CIRCULAR REASONING! All you've done here is re-state our original objective.'

'The End is Near' and 'There's No End In Sight.'

Hollywood ending.

Mr Meier calendar

"Do you think they'll move the Doomsday Clock forward?"

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."

The End.

'Well, he certainly lived every day as if it was his last.'

The end of the world is nigh - Get your specially adapted clock here

Leaf falling in the desert

'Great news honey. I got that job with the highway department!'

Professor Yomp inserts ecology into his economic formula: "We're doomed!"

"Plate tectonics is going to kill us all."

Man with sign reading 'The end already happened. This is the sequel'.

"The end is near!" "That's true!"

"You keep saying apocalyptic but I think you mean post-apocalyptic."

"Happy now, you jerk?"

'What would I do if I only had one day left to live? That's a good question. Why do you ask?'

'I'm spending all of my money and if the world doesn't end in 2012, I'll make it all back and more by suing the Mayas.'