Extinction Expert Gifts

'You think you're close? Listen Bud, I wrote the book on extinction!'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

65 Million Years Ago

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

"I'm sending you an interesting article about declining birth rates."

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

Caliologist

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

'Good grief! Aren't you guys extinct yet?'

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

'Just as I suspected, Simpson. The extinction process happened very suddenly.'

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

"Some dinosaurs died out more quickly than others" "You want some?"

You heard earth's just entered its sixth great extinction event? Really? Vertebrate species are dying at a rate not seen since the dinosaurs died off. This time It's thanks to us. But the good thing is, scientists think humans will die off pretty early in this mass extinction. How's that a good thing? We won't be around to hear the other animals say "I told you so."

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

Sportscasters on the Savannah

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

'Any history of extinction in your family?'

'Oh, come on -- everything can't be extinct!'

"In the late Cretaceous" "What do you mean, you're here for all of us at once?"

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

'Yes, as dodos, we can't fly, but if we could only learn to climb trees, we would be safe from predators...'

'That's right, the Princess kissed me by mistake: She didn't know the difference between a frog and a toad...'

Bio-obsolescence

The Last Mosquito

'Just when you think things can't get any worse, it starts to rain.'

"Just you wait!"