Extinction Gifts

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"Just you wait!"

"I think the return of the pterodactyls is a little ominous!"

Why the Dinosaurs really died out: 'Dang...They're too ugly to have sex with and too disgusting to eat... Let's kill them.'

'I've been feeling very extincky lately.'

Dinosaur

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"It's from God - a bill for 557 pterodactyls, 76 baby brontosaurs and 28 giant tapirs, payable within 30 days or we'll be extinct."

"Where do you think we are in the food chain right now?"

Luck

"Absolute bummer of a day. . . have you ever tried getting life insurance when you're supposed to be extinct?"

"What! You telling me I'm extinct?"

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

65 Million Years Ago

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"I'm sending you an interesting article about declining birth rates."

'Good grief! Aren't you guys extinct yet?'

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

'Just as I suspected, Simpson. The extinction process happened very suddenly.'

You heard earth's just entered its sixth great extinction event? Really? Vertebrate species are dying at a rate not seen since the dinosaurs died off. This time It's thanks to us. But the good thing is, scientists think humans will die off pretty early in this mass extinction. How's that a good thing? We won't be around to hear the other animals say "I told you so."

"Just great. These humans bring us back from extinction just in time for another global climate catastrophe."

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

'To be or not to be - well yes, but what about coma, trance, vegetative states, reincarnation, near death experience, cryogenics?'

Bio-obsolescence

"In the late Cretaceous" "What do you mean, you're here for all of us at once?"

"I had a dream about a huge flaming rock falling from the sky! What do you think it means?"

'Yes, as dodos, we can't fly, but if we could only learn to climb trees, we would be safe from predators...'

'Oh, come on -- everything can't be extinct!'

Clownosaurus killed by a giant mud pie.

'Any history of extinction in your family?'

'We are the last Dodos on the planet, so I've put all of our eggs safely into this basket...'

The Last Mosquito

'It looks like our time is up.'