Experimental Artist Gifts

Interpretive napping

Atomic Bear: Part 21

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

Frank Zappa

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

'So that's his secret.'

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

Award-Winning Photographer.

'..the sound of no hands clapping...'

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

"How much do you want off the top?"

"Me, I eat mostly roadkill: it saves me countess hours of hunting and stalking and leaves me time to concentrate on my art. . ."

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

"I know the rules on cloning, but it's easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission."

'You were right, Dad. It started to bounce on the third or fourth step.'

Tate Modern: Turbine Hall

Tomb of the unknown lab rat.

'Sure, the term 'lab rat' has a lot of negative connotations but having drugs tested on you isn't so bad if you're a hypochondriac...'

'Sorry... I should've warned you. In our company, we're encouraged to color outside the lines!'

'She didn't want to go out with you even though you told her you had a h-index of 37! Boy I don't understand women!'

"There's something peculiar about all this..."

"See - it works in my fantasy research league."

A person is catching bird poo on a blank canvas to make portraits.

"I like your paintings, but I'm more interested in this piece here."

Benjamin Britten.

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."

It had sounded so good, a class where you get to make a cast of your own face.