Experimental Music Lover Gifts

Frank Zappa

"Hey! Which one of you is flat?!!"

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

Interpretive napping

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

Scientists building a tower

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'Professor, what's the antimatter?'

'It's not that I'm stupid. I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet.'

Gamma Ray Lab/Gamma Ray Shielding Materials Lab

'Of course it's impossible. That's why we're here.'

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

Having heard good things about it, Carlos decides to try the Phlegmish School of painting.

'Well, you were the one who proposed cloning a cell from a dinosaur bone, so you figure out what we should do now.

'Get a half-life Mrs Curie.'

Spoonstock.

'They're playing our song.'

Tate Modern: Turbine Hall

'Sure, the term 'lab rat' has a lot of negative connotations but having drugs tested on you isn't so bad if you're a hypochondriac...'

Tomb of the unknown lab rat.

"How am I? Same old, same old. Another day of throwing at the wall to see what sticks."

'Darling, it's the local Satanists wondering whether they can sing us some black metal.'

'Listen; They're playing our song!'

"See - it works in my fantasy research league."

"I like your paintings, but I'm more interested in this piece here."

"It's an AI Beatles tribute act."

"I thought it was just a phase, but now that he's in his 40s I'm not so sure!"

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."

'I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests.'

It had sounded so good, a class where you get to make a cast of your own face.