Experimental Artists Gifts

It had sounded so good, a class where you get to make a cast of your own face.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

Interpretive napping

Mime Baby

"I'm putting you on country music."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

'So that's his secret.'

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

Award-Winning Photographer.

'You were right, Dad. It started to bounce on the third or fourth step.'

"I know the rules on cloning, but it's easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission."

"How much do you want off the top?"

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

Tate Modern: Turbine Hall

'Sure, the term 'lab rat' has a lot of negative connotations but having drugs tested on you isn't so bad if you're a hypochondriac...'

'Sorry... I should've warned you. In our company, we're encouraged to color outside the lines!'

Tomb of the unknown lab rat.

'She didn't want to go out with you even though you told her you had a h-index of 37! Boy I don't understand women!'

"See - it works in my fantasy research league."

"There's something peculiar about all this..."

A person is catching bird poo on a blank canvas to make portraits.

"I like your paintings, but I'm more interested in this piece here."

Benjamin Britten.

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."