Experimentalists Gifts

'She didn't want to go out with you even though you told her you had a h-index of 37! Boy I don't understand women!'

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

This Year's Spa

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'Bad man. . . you are a Bad Man!'

Interpretive napping

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

An angry Scientist has discovered his two Lab' mice are using a GPS to find their way through a maze to some cheese.

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

"I'm putting you on country music."

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

'I thoguht they only tested drugs on guinea pigs.'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"Genetic engineering...Fact File 1"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

Undercover Biophysicists

Scientists building a tower

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

Galileo's Attempt to discover is heavier dog falls faster than lighter dog.

'So that's his secret.'

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

'Louis Pasteur, after discovering that microbes transmitted disease, experimented with methods for killing them'

Scientist to other: 'That's the saddest hypothesis I've ever heard!'