Home Experimentalist Gifts

'I just have time to make some toast, analyze its particle sizes, its density, its chemisorption...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

The Hammer

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

Interpretive napping

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

An angry Scientist has discovered his two Lab' mice are using a GPS to find their way through a maze to some cheese.

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

"I'm putting you on country music."

'I thoguht they only tested drugs on guinea pigs.'

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"Genetic engineering...Fact File 1"

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

Undercover Biophysicists

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Scientists building a tower

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Galileo's Attempt to discover is heavier dog falls faster than lighter dog.

'So that's his secret.'

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

'Louis Pasteur, after discovering that microbes transmitted disease, experimented with methods for killing them'

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

Scientist to other: 'That's the saddest hypothesis I've ever heard!'