Homemade Experimenters Gifts

"Let me show you my latest D.I.Y. project."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"I am not asking for directions."

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

Sunny with a chance of Helium

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

An angry Scientist has discovered his two Lab' mice are using a GPS to find their way through a maze to some cheese.

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

"I'm putting you on country music."

'I thoguht they only tested drugs on guinea pigs.'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

Undercover Biophysicists

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

Galileo's Attempt to discover is heavier dog falls faster than lighter dog.

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

'Louis Pasteur, after discovering that microbes transmitted disease, experimented with methods for killing them'

Scientist to other: 'That's the saddest hypothesis I've ever heard!'

"You were supposed to have invented fire!"

"The toaster is broken again, sweetheart."