Homemade Experimenters Pillows

"Let me show you my latest D.I.Y. project."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"I am not asking for directions."

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

Sunny with a chance of Helium

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

An angry Scientist has discovered his two Lab' mice are using a GPS to find their way through a maze to some cheese.

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

"I'm putting you on country music."

'I thoguht they only tested drugs on guinea pigs.'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

Undercover Biophysicists

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

Galileo's Attempt to discover is heavier dog falls faster than lighter dog.

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

'Louis Pasteur, after discovering that microbes transmitted disease, experimented with methods for killing them'

"You were supposed to have invented fire!"

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

Scientist to other: 'That's the saddest hypothesis I've ever heard!'

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.