Experiencing The Terrible Twos Gifts

Our Summer Fantasy

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"She does this when she's tired."

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

'He's doing it again.'

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.

Quiz: Why is your two-year old so quiet

'That sure was a disaster of a first date!'

"Now in the second law of thermodynamics..."

"I don't feel we've known each other long enough to sit in a booth."

'Tsk - he will keep throwing things out of the buggy.'

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

"Any other weaknesses?"

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

An insect lands on a young man's nose just as he is about to talk to some girls.

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

"So what's the deal? Why did Cruz call me your girlfriend?"

"Oh, awkward - my ex. . ."

'Call the shrink. Herold's experiencing his first case of rug rage!'

'Hello, I'm drunk.'

'Nicely executed paper trail, Bill. Too bad it's from the rest room.'

'He was so cute! I touched his arm, and guess what? He said, 'Jeepers, Creepers'!'

'You rate very high in everything, except, of course, people skills.'