Surviving The Terrible Twos Gifts

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

I have to get the Positive Thinker...

New Orleans Will Come Back Blues.

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"She does this when she's tired."

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

'He's doing it again.'

"My name is Jose Hernandez, and my story begins when my parents moved from Mexico to the United States to work the fields. I would find my own special calling."

Shipwrecked Ventriloquist.

Quiz: Why is your two-year old so quiet

Our Summer Fantasy

"This accident will not affect my career as a football pro. Fortunately, I'm left-footed."

'Tsk - he will keep throwing things out of the buggy.'

They were young and in love, and Harold would spend whole weekends counting the freckles on Arlene's back, Of course they were also incredibly stupid,,, Arlene only had seven freckles,

'I have been searching my soul to find the real reason why I ended up here and one answer in particular keeps turning up.'

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

Abandon Hope/Resume Hope

Self-made man from the school of Hard Knocks.

Attendance Has Dropped

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

'Call the shrink. Herold's experiencing his first case of rug rage!'

The Incomplete Angler

Quasimodo once had a promising career with the ballet, until an ankle injury shattered his aspirations.

"We will come through this together. . . two metres apart."

The Last Toilet Roll On Earth

If one of us is guilty, the others have to promise to send this photo to him in prison

"My husband and I were divorced too young. It didn't last."

'The show must go on!'

"I spy with my little eye something heading toward divorce."

"Well, your mother did warn us about the terrible twos."

"Now, about your room." "Aw, mom." "Don't 'aw mom' me. A clean and orderly room promotes discipline." "But ..." "But nothing. Believe me, you'll thank me later. And another thing ..."