Experiencing The Terrible Twos Mugs

Our Summer Fantasy

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"She does this when she's tired."

"Say these things, don't think them!"

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

'He's doing it again.'

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.

Quiz: Why is your two-year old so quiet

"Now in the second law of thermodynamics..."

'That sure was a disaster of a first date!'

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

"I don't feel we've known each other long enough to sit in a booth."

"Any other weaknesses?"

'Tsk - he will keep throwing things out of the buggy.'

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

An insect lands on a young man's nose just as he is about to talk to some girls.

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

'Take a nice, deep breath and let it out.'

'If I go on a double date, does that mean I'll get to second base?'

'He was so cute! I touched his arm, and guess what? He said, 'Jeepers, Creepers'!'

'Call the shrink. Herold's experiencing his first case of rug rage!'

"Oh, awkward - my ex. . ."

'You rate very high in everything, except, of course, people skills.'

'Nicely executed paper trail, Bill. Too bad it's from the rest room.'

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

'I'd like you to meet George...!'

"Oh, that's embarrassing, it is a stick."