Expecting Sibling Gifts

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

Cry babies.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

Reflected Glory

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

"Looks like I have a choice... I wait for contractions or I bungee jump!!"

"Mom, when do I get my own room?"

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

The Ultrasound.

"Good news. Your mother is pregnant, so, we won't be mortgaging your future."

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

"It must be hereditary. My mom got pregnant too!!"

'Does this mean I have to share my pocket money?'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"You mean my little sister could be a BOY?"

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'