Expectation Navigator T-Shirts

"Your great Abuelita Zoraida is coming for a visit! Do you know what that means?"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Surfing the daily stress

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

Opening the door to new customers

The Map of the Human Heart

I applied for a job with NASA but they turned me down. I think it was because I told them I wanted to be an astronaut because in space, you can't cry because there's no gravity and tears can't flow.

The Wishing Well

Birthing Ball

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

'He's never there for me.'

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"It looked better on pinterest."

"It looked different on the internet."

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

"I hate to be a dream snatcher but your baby is going to be just average."

"You seem very remote."

"The idea at 3 am. The idea at 7 am."

Florist.

"People can bridge the great distance between the Earth and the Moon..."

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

STRIP *Community Care * Office rage"

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

"You were always my favorite to guilt-trip."

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

'OK, Connor. Tell me about this big, scary monster that you feel is under your bed at night.'

Climate Change Contingency House

'Dang! Heck of a time to get writer's block.'

"He doesn't have a single redeeming quality, he's just disrupting and awful and repulsive, and he has no consideration for other people's feelings."