Expecting Explorer T-Shirts

'And now if you'd care to move over to the font...'

"You shouldn't try for enlightenment if you are pregnant or may become pregnant."

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

Downloading Pregnancy

Smartphone Sonogram

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

"All this stuff? I'm meeting for two now."

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It looked better on pinterest."

'I'll need to see some ID.'

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

Fortune teller predicts a bigger family for worried parents.

"So, the inevitable sequel."

"Ahhhhh! Finally!" "Pssst. Don't do it. You're dreaming." "Don't go in there!"

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

'How am I doing?'

'Well, what did you expect?'

"This is not Easter Island. My boat sank before getting there."

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

'I love my obstetrician! He brings out the kid in me!'

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Baby trying to break out'

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

'Regardless, our trip to the Upper Amazon was fine. You know David--everything has to be perfect.'

Pregnant Women buy Clown Clothes because they fit.

How humans are born.

It's more about the journey for me!

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

"Run to the store and buy me a tub of ketchup!"