Exercise Joker Gifts

"I'm not finished exercising. I still have a couple of laps to go."

"This year I'm getting in shape."

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

"OK, ready to go again?"

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

Joust Sharpener

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Jogging Bottoms

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'George, stop playing with the children.'

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

Unicyclist painting a ceiling.

"I'm making him take a spin class."

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

Long-legged clown...

Ants stealing from the picnic.

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."