Exercise Exaggerator Gifts

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Early accounting scandals.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

Pelobong

'The needle was THIS big!'

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

'Let's shop faster. I need the exercise.'

'He's started jogging to work.'

"You could do with some weight training."

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

Crash Test Dummy's Running Machine

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'I'm very active. I'm always jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping lunch, and jogging my memory. With all that jumping, stretching, skipping and jogging, I still can't lose weight.'

"My New Year's resolution is to get fit and watch more TV."

"I'm inspired to try to run a marathon."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

'I do try to walk more! The donut shop is a good 1/2 block further tan the health food store!'

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

Sidewinder Sam's Aerobic Studio