Exercise Exaggerator T-Shirts

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Early accounting scandals.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

Pelobong

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

'The needle was THIS big!'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1,273,426 steps."

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

Crash Test Dummy's Running Machine

"Come check this out, Doris! I think our mouse trap finally caught a mouse!"

"You could do with some weight training."

'Let's shop faster. I need the exercise.'

'He's started jogging to work.'

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"I'm inspired to try to run a marathon."

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise on a motorbike at a gym.

'I'm very active. I'm always jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping lunch, and jogging my memory. With all that jumping, stretching, skipping and jogging, I still can't lose weight.'

"My New Year's resolution is to get fit and watch more TV."

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

'I do try to walk more! The donut shop is a good 1/2 block further tan the health food store!'

When I said you were Ripped, Bob, I didn't mean your muscles.