Brave-exaggerator Gifts

'The needle was THIS big!'

Fishing Tales

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Alarmistclock

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Early accounting scandals.

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

'...and that's the one that got away!'

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

Fish Story

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

Remember, Ed, they are more afraid of you than you are of them.

Jeff hadn't quite anticipated how he'd feel exhibiting his art publicly for the first time.

"Okay. It's a balloon. Get over it."

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'

"I stood up to the class bully like you said, Dad. . . then she punched me in the eye!"

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'

"Hard work, determination, success!"

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

'I can tell this fish story just fine by myself, man's best friend.'

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

"I said it was INSPIRED by a true story."

Matthew Webb

"You heard right, mom...the boss made me his plant manager!"

"It strikes me you're making a deal more fuss over this than it calls for, Dan'l."