Exaggeration Explorer Gifts

"This is nothing like my near death experience."

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

Fishing Tales

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Alarmistclock

Early accounting scandals.

The Elephant in the Womb

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Museum of Natural Cliches

"Wow! I knew you were rich, but I didn't know you were that rich!"

'The needle was THIS big!'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

'...and that's the one that got away!'

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

Street painter puts real face on man with happy face.

'Mommy! Larry's making faces again!'

"I though you said I should take the ball and slowly meander around with it."

"They say the early bird gets the worm, but something's rotten in Denmark with this scenario!"

"I ask you, what would life be like without similes?"

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding