Exaggeration Lover Gifts

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

Fishing Tales

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Alarmistclock

Early accounting scandals.

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

'...and that's the one that got away!'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

Fish Story

"He's two onths old and already drooling at a four-month-old level."

Well, no wonder the natives are restless. They're worshipping an espresso machine!

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'

'This is what I've been waiting for-a bunch of fishermen telling fish stories.'

"Okay. It's a balloon. Get over it."

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

"Hard work, determination, success!"

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

"I said it was INSPIRED by a true story."

'I can tell this fish story just fine by myself, man's best friend.'