Milestone Exaggeration Lover Gifts

"He's two onths old and already drooling at a four-month-old level."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

Pilot with champagne.

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

Pearly King and Queen

Do you think I'm sixty?

An old man exercising with hourglasses

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"Careful."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Jumping Man

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

Attic of hopes and dreams...

Aging Problems

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."