Exaggeration Lovers Gifts

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

Fishing Tales

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Alarmistclock

'It was this big. I swear'

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

'...and that's the one that got away!'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

Fish Story

"Come check this out, Doris! I think our mouse trap finally caught a mouse!"

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

"He's two onths old and already drooling at a four-month-old level."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'This infestation is far more serious than I was anticipating.'

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

"Okay. It's a balloon. Get over it."

'This is what I've been waiting for-a bunch of fishermen telling fish stories.'

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'

Used car salesman to man: 'And this one was driven by a little old lady ...er ...uh ... with 36 grandchildren.'

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'

"Hard work, determination, success!"