Exaggeration Gifts

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

Fishing Tales

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Alarmistclock

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Early accounting scandals.

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

An exaggeration of estate agents

'...and that's the one that got away!'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

Well, no wonder the natives are restless. They're worshipping an espresso machine!

Fish Story

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'

"Okay. It's a balloon. Get over it."

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

'This is what I've been waiting for-a bunch of fishermen telling fish stories.'

Fishing Stories

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

Man thinking it's safer driving a tank

"Hard work, determination, success!"

"I said it was INSPIRED by a true story."

'I can tell this fish story just fine by myself, man's best friend.'

"It strikes me you're making a deal more fuss over this than it calls for, Dan'l."