Exaggeration Artist Gifts

"I said it was INSPIRED by a true story."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Fishing Tales

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Alarmistclock

Early accounting scandals.

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

'...and that's the one that got away!'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

Fish Story

Well, no wonder the natives are restless. They're worshipping an espresso machine!

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

"Okay. It's a balloon. Get over it."

'This is what I've been waiting for-a bunch of fishermen telling fish stories.'

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'

"Hard work, determination, success!"

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

King James II

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."