Exaggeration Admirer Gifts

"Okay. It's a balloon. Get over it."

Fishing Tales

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Alarmistclock

Early accounting scandals.

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

Sharp Eyes

'...and that's the one that got away!'

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

Fish Story

Well, no wonder the natives are restless. They're worshipping an espresso machine!

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

Liquor is legal, not compulsory.

Henry Moore

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

'This is what I've been waiting for-a bunch of fishermen telling fish stories.'

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

"We wanted a design that would reflect how much money we have."

"Hard work, determination, success!"

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

Having an open mind is not to be confused with a hole in the head.

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."