Exaggeration Admirer Gifts

"Okay. It's a balloon. Get over it."

Fishing Tales

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Alarmistclock

Early accounting scandals.

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

Sharp Eyes

'...and that's the one that got away!'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

Well, no wonder the natives are restless. They're worshipping an espresso machine!

Fish Story

"Come check this out, Doris! I think our mouse trap finally caught a mouse!"

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'This infestation is far more serious than I was anticipating.'

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

Henry Moore

Liquor is legal, not compulsory.

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

'This is what I've been waiting for-a bunch of fishermen telling fish stories.'

"We wanted a design that would reflect how much money we have."

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

"Hard work, determination, success!"

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'

Having an open mind is not to be confused with a hole in the head.