Title Exaggerator Gifts

"And Tim is doing very well. He's a media distribution officer."

Fishing Tales

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Alarmistclock

Early accounting scandals.

'The needle was THIS big!'

'...and that's the one that got away!'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

Fish Story

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'

"Okay. It's a balloon. Get over it."

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'

"Hard work, determination, success!"

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

"It strikes me you're making a deal more fuss over this than it calls for, Dan'l."

"I said it was INSPIRED by a true story."

"You heard right, mom...the boss made me his plant manager!"

'I can tell this fish story just fine by myself, man's best friend.'