Profile Exaggerator Gifts

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

Fishing Tales

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Alarmistclock

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Early accounting scandals.

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

An exaggeration of estate agents

'...and that's the one that got away!'

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

Fish Story

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

Henry Moore

“At what point does it stop being just moths, and start being Pestilence?”

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

"Okay. It's a balloon. Get over it."

"What quality do you have, that will make us hire you as our new telephone support employee?"

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'

"When Dennis gets a cold everyone has to know about it"

'You were featured on Rogue Traders'

"Hard work, determination, success!"

"I said it was INSPIRED by a true story."

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

'I can tell this fish story just fine by myself, man's best friend.'

"You heard right, mom...the boss made me his plant manager!"

"It strikes me you're making a deal more fuss over this than it calls for, Dan'l."