Vacation Exaggerator Gifts

"I don't want my colleagues to know that all I did on my vacation was drink. . . I need a sexually transmitted disease!"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Early accounting scandals.

An exaggeration of estate agents

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'And it continues to fall! This is the big chill! The wintery whiteout! The new Ice Age! Snowageddon!'

Fish Story

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

'Old fart and the sea'

"And that one I tagged with a flamethrower from ten yards."

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'

'Yes, I did suggest you enlarge that photo of you and your car. However...'

Fishing Stories

"Hard work, determination, success!"

"I said it was INSPIRED by a true story."

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

"You heard right, mom...the boss made me his plant manager!"

"It strikes me you're making a deal more fuss over this than it calls for, Dan'l."

'I can tell this fish story just fine by myself, man's best friend.'

'I went on a cruise and all I got was this T-shirt.'

"And Tim is doing very well. He's a media distribution officer."

"Remember my teacher made the class write a report about their parents? Well, to make it more interesting, I got 'creative' with the facts."

"Together they were a 15-pounder."

'Knock it off. You're not that sick.'

Fish underwater with sizes written on them.