Exam Day Dramatists Gifts

"Before you all collect your exam results, the BBC have arrived in the car park so you'll be asked to open them again every 15 minutes for the camera..."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

William Shakespeare

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"Impartiality becomes you."

'I hear McKellen takes scarf wearing to new levels of flamboyance at the Old Vic...'

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"O Romeo, Romeo. Lurking outside my balcony is super creepy, Romeo."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'Never mind four out of five doctors.. what do four out of five LAWYERS recommend?'

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

The first rule of mime club is: You Do Not Talk About Mime Club!

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

Shakespeare considers alternatives to iambic pentameter

Closing arguments.

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Now, then -- would you prefer a speedy trial or an accurate trial.'

"You're an attorney. Don't stand so upright."

"I would like to conduct my own defence, m'lud."

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

What do overcrowded prisons say about defense lawyers?

"And were you wearing that particular hat on the night of the murder?"

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'I called this emergency meeting to discuss the lack of respect I've been getting around here lately.'

'Your honor, my client feels you should recuse yourself as he is a cat person.'

'That's it! No more cameras in the courtroom!'

"I didn't want it to come to this. Launch the lawyers."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

'We're eleven to one. May we borrow the murder weapon?'