Exam Day Dramatists Pillows

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

William Shakespeare

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"Impartiality becomes you."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"O Romeo, Romeo. Lurking outside my balcony is super creepy, Romeo."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

'Never mind four out of five doctors.. what do four out of five LAWYERS recommend?'

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

The first rule of mime club is: You Do Not Talk About Mime Club!

Shakespeare considers alternatives to iambic pentameter

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Closing arguments.

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Now, then -- would you prefer a speedy trial or an accurate trial.'

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

What do overcrowded prisons say about defense lawyers?

"And were you wearing that particular hat on the night of the murder?"

"I would like to conduct my own defence, m'lud."

"You're an attorney. Don't stand so upright."

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

'I called this emergency meeting to discuss the lack of respect I've been getting around here lately.'

'Your honor, my client feels you should recuse yourself as he is a cat person.'

'That's it! No more cameras in the courtroom!'

"Normally, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. These closing arguments would be filled with impassioned pleading, determined advocacy and a certain amount of histrionics, but this is a pro bono case."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

'We're eleven to one. May we borrow the murder weapon?'