Interview Dramatist Gifts

'Say, that's a mighty impressive resume. Mind if I borrow it for a few minutes?'

Southwark Fair.

Jean-Paul Sartre

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

A man taking a bow

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

Comedy and tragedy masks

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

Henrik Ibsen,

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

The Perfect Foil

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

'Shakespeare, what do you say we write a comedy?'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

James Barrie.

Eugene Ionesco

John Masefield.

The Modern Godot

'...and could you refill the vinegar - Genius here thinks it's the wine.'

Samuel Beckett

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

Oscar Wilde

Henrik Ibsen

'You are in court today, so I've got to take you into make up.'

Euripides

To Be/Not To Be

Nikolai Gogol

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

Modern Day Hamlet.