Exam Day Humorist Gifts

Silence - Exam in progress. 'Invigilating is not what it was...'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Smoke and mirrors.

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

'The highest court in the land.'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

Teacher's pet dog

"Did I miss a lot of work while I was out with the flu? No, I didn't miss it at all!"

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"No, you can't ask Alexa a quick question. This is a test, so you're on your own."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

The hour of justice

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'