Exam Pressure Humorist Gifts

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

"Most people would jump at an opportunity like this."

"Improve your geography results, Perkins or you're history!"

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

In Case of Emergency - Break Glass and take a BIG SWIG!

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

Suggestion Box for the Wather.

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

"Above all do not open your sealed test booklets until you are told to do so!"

"The boss says I've exceeded his low expectations of me!"

'It's just hot dogs. What does the health department care about hot dogs?'

What's with all the cameras? They're filming seniors for college field hockey recruiters. I'll never be good enough to get admitted. It's just a game. In the real world. No one cared you even played. Then why do they make us do sports? To take your mind off all the college pressure!

Any musical requests? !

Census Interrogation

Maybe we should do a big check next time. Sweepstak … 5 five.

"We've really come up with something, but nine other labs also came up with it this week."

'Ms. Green, I'm reviewing our school's latest standardized test scores. Please send in a grief counselor.'

Errands: the Magazine for the Errands Life Style

'It's a shame, he had superb references...It was just unfortunate he failed so badly on his interpretation of these squiggly lines.'

Closing Laugh Optician

Hotline.

'You're accused of punching, gouging, biting and stomping.'

"Say 'ahhhhhhhh!'"

How to spot the early signs of Book Fair meeting meltdown.

"Post traumatic stress disorder."

Cash machine having a nervous breakdown

GCSE Geography by telephone

Silence - Exam in progress. 'Invigilating is not what it was...'

Audited by the IRS.

'Just write your answers. You'll get the questions after the test.'

'I think it's for you.'