Ex-employee Gifts

"How many times do I need to tell you, Craig... You were fried. Quit coming back!"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

Working hours.

Sign - Halt manager crossing