Ex-partner Gifts

'This is goodbye, Fred, but of course, I'll never forget you.'

'Kim, you can't leave me!!'

'This is Malcolm, my insignificant other.'

Tunnel of Love exit.

"I'm having my wedding ring melted down into a bullet."

'No Longer Welcome' mat

"We're still working out joint custody."

Silver foil tells cling film it's too clingy.

Emocean.

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

Love is a many splinted thing....

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

Janine often played hard to get. Rid of.

All this alimony to my first wife is killing me.

'The divorce was amicable enough, but we did have a tug of war over who got the dog.'

My dearest Victoria, This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write...

"I also just want to be friends, but with somebody else."

"I'm confused. Is this the start of something, the end of something, or the whole something?"

'He's not here. If you're lost without him, you can always stay and see if he tries to find you.'

"Can I call you back? I'm decluttering."

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

"Please come back. My life is incomplete without you."

'It's another get-well card from your ex-wife. I never realized how many words rhymed with alimony.'

I'm leaving you Larry, you're just too controlling!

'Then I told him to take a hike. Right now he's somewhere in the Himalayas.'

'I wish you had tried to screw me this much while we were married.'

'It's all over, Blakely. I've grown, and you haven't.'

"Et tu, Baxter?"

"And another thing. I don't want you visiting my Web site."

'Oh - It's you.'

'It's not you, it's me - and everyone else.'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

"People Change"

"Go ahead Slinky, leave me.. you'll come crawling back."

'I'm sorry Roger, it's not you, it's the way you move, it's just so bizarre.'