Ex-partner Gifts

"You no longer spark joy, Charly."

'This is goodbye, Fred, but of course, I'll never forget you.'

'Kim, you can't leave me!!'

'This is Malcolm, my insignificant other.'

Tunnel of Love exit.

'No Longer Welcome' mat

"We're still working out joint custody."

"I'm having my wedding ring melted down into a bullet."

Silver foil tells cling film it's too clingy.

All this alimony to my first wife is killing me.

Emocean.

'The divorce was amicable enough, but we did have a tug of war over who got the dog.'

My dearest Victoria, This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write...

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

Janine often played hard to get. Rid of.

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

Love is a many splinted thing....

"Can I call you back? I'm decluttering."

"Please come back. My life is incomplete without you."

'It's another get-well card from your ex-wife. I never realized how many words rhymed with alimony.'

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

'He's not here. If you're lost without him, you can always stay and see if he tries to find you.'

"I also just want to be friends, but with somebody else."

"I'm confused. Is this the start of something, the end of something, or the whole something?"

'Seperate cheques?'

"Go ahead Slinky, leave me.. you'll come crawling back."

"Et tu, Baxter?"

'Your heart, sir, torn out, stomped on and handed back to you in a doggie bag. Will there be anything else tonight?'

"And another thing. I don't want you visiting my Web site."

'It's not you, it's me - and everyone else.'

'Then I told him to take a hike. Right now he's somewhere in the Himalayas.'

'It's all over, Blakely. I've grown, and you haven't.'

'So where's the love?' 'Your love means nothing to me.'

Happy Valentines Day

'Oh - It's you.'